Career or self-care? It’s not either/or.

Many professional women grow up with an unspoken belief that success comes from putting the career first, no matter what. Long hours, skipped lunches, saying yes to every request – the hustle culture rewards it.

At the same time, women are socialised into what I call others-ness: the instinct to put other people’s needs first – at work, at home, and everywhere in between. Together, these forces create the trap of an apparent choice between career and self-care.

The truth? It’s not an either/or choice at all. To sustain your career in the long run, self-care is non-negotiable. And nowhere is this more urgent than when you approach peri-menopause and menopause.

Why this matters before menopause

Menopause is not just a women’s health issue – it’s a career inflection point.

Hormonal changes can disrupt sleep, concentration, memory, mood, and energy. If you’ve spent years sidelining self-care, you’ll enter this stage with an empty tank. That’s when small cracks can widen into burnout, stalled progression or even career exit.

UK data shows the stakes are high:

• Nearly 1 million women have left work due to menopause symptoms, costing the economy around £1.5 to £1.9 billion annually (Royal London, 2023).

• Menopause accounts for around 14 million lost working days a year – that’s £1.88 billion in productivity (Health & Her, 2022).

• Over 27% of women aged 40–60 say menopause has negatively impacted their career progression (CIPD, 2023).

These aren’t just statistics. They represent women at the height of their expertise and leadership potential, derailed by an avoidable either/or mindset.

The mindset shift: self-care as strategy

Self-care isn’t indulgence. It’s strategy. It’s how you preserve the energy and focus to perform sustainably, especially during times of physiological change.

Think of it this way:

• Without self-care: career demands accelerate just as your resilience dips – leading to fatigue, mistakes, or exit.

• With self-care: you maintain energy, clarity, and adaptability, positioning yourself as a leader who thrives through transition.

When you choose both – career and self-care – you safeguard your future.

Common barriers to self-care

Others-ness: that ingrained habit of putting everyone else first. At work it shows up as volunteering for the “office housework” (note-taking, event planning, mentoring). At home it shows up as carrying the mental load. Either way, it leaves no room for you.

Reframe: Supporting yourself first enables you to support others more sustainably.

The hustle myth: the idea that success is measured in hours worked or sacrifices made. For women, this is magnified by the pressure to “prove yourself” in male-dominated environments.

Reframe: Sustainable success comes from energy management, not exhaustion. Rested brains make better strategic decisions.

Fear of being seen as selfish: women often face penalties for saying no, while men are praised for protecting their time. This double standard keeps women over-extended.

Reframe: boundaries are leadership. Saying ‘no’ to the non-essential, to protect your ‘yes’ for what really matters.

Late awareness: many women only start paying attention to self-care once symptoms hit; by then, reserves are low and recovery is harder.

Reframe: think of self-care as a pension: the earlier you invest, the greater the resilience you’ll have when you need it.

Practical measures

• Schedule recovery like a meeting – block diary time for exercise, reflection, or rest.

• Audit your “others-ness” – track how much invisible work you do for others and rebalance.

• Create ‘pause-before-yes’ space – give yourself permission to check workload before volunteering.

• Build allies at work – talk openly about balance and model new norms with peers.

• Educate yourself – understand menopause now so you can plan proactively.

The cultural opportunity

When women shift from career or self-care to career and self-care, organisations benefit too. Retention improves, productivity stabilises and leadership pipelines get stronger.

This isn’t about women withdrawing, it’s about enabling them to contribute at their fullest potential, through menopause and beyond.

Final word

Career or self-care? It’s a false choice. You need both. And the sooner you know this (ideally well ahead of menopause) the better prepared you’ll be to thrive in every season of your life and career.

Photo by Jay Alexander on Unsplash